Children who are abandoned often experience feelings of not belonging, feeling unsafe in the world and believing that they don’t deserve positive attention. They may also have trouble trusting people and finding meaningful relationships in adulthood. Fortunately, abandonment fears can be addressed with the help of a mental health professional.
Abandonment may occur when a parent or legal guardian leaves a child in a place where the child cannot be found, with no intention of returning. This can include leaving a child in the woods, in a pram or other inhospitable environment such as the street or in a public privy. It can also include refusing to care for a child or refusing to let them be picked up by other family members.
Often, this type of abandonment occurs in developing countries where there are too many children and lack of consistent caregivers. It can also be caused by the death of a parent and the inability to find another family member who can take custody of the child. In the United States, emotional abandonment can be considered abuse under child safety and welfare laws. It may also be considered neglect, if the parent or caretaker does not meet a child’s emotional needs for affection and interaction over long periods of time.
The story of Hansel and Gretel is perhaps the best known example of abandonment in the western world. But the reality is that the abandonment of children was much more common in medieval times when illegitimate children were left to die and the poverty of families led to infanticide. Even today, the practice continues in some cultures. Some of the most heartbreaking cases involve sex workers who are assigned to abort fetuses and then abandon them in the woods, in a public privy or on the streets.
Although the number of abandoned children has declined, the issue persists. In China, for instance, the country’s One Child Policy (OCP) and son-preference culture have resulted in a greater number of girls being abandoned than boys. In addition, the provinces with strict OCP and high clan culture have a different pattern of abandonment compared to other provinces (see Fig. 3).
Those who experience feelings of abandonment in childhood may struggle with a variety of mental health issues, including anxiety and depression. A therapist can help address these symptoms and teach techniques for healthy coping with abandonment trauma. The therapist can also help the individual work through past experiences and develop healthier relationships in the future.