A person who develops abandonment issues usually has some type of loss or trauma in their childhood that leaves them with a core belief that they will be abandoned again. This could be a parent leaving, a family member dying, incarceration, abusive relationships, poverty, etc. Some examples of emotional neglect in childhood that can lead to abandonment issues include parents ridiculing their children, stifling their emotions, relying on children to perform parent responsibilities instead of assisting them, over-stressing academic achievement at the expense of social development, and more. In addition, some children experience abandonment when they do not get their emotional needs met in general (which is different than a specific event or loss).
Abandonment issues can manifest as feelings of loneliness, low self-esteem, and difficulty forming healthy relationships. It can also cause a person to seek consolation in drugs and alcohol. When a person who has this issue becomes an adult, they are often referred to as a grown wounded child (GWC).
Depending on the state’s laws and the circumstances, a parent, guardian or other adult in charge of a child may be guilty of abandonment, which is considered an act of neglect and/or abuse and endangers the safety of the child. In California, for example, it is a misdemeanor offense to leave a child alone without taking the necessary steps to ensure that the child is safe. A conviction for this can result in up to a year in jail, a $2,000 fine or both. More serious cases are felonies and could result in up to six years of prison time.
Many states have passed so-called “safe haven” laws or Baby Moses laws that allow parents to leave infants anonymously without facing abandonment charges, provided the parents place the child in designated locations that are considered safe. These laws vary by state, but in some states, they specify a maximum age for the child that can be left unattended and/or designate which locations qualify as safe havens.
The most common sign of abandonment issues in adults is a need for constant reassurance that they are loved and will not be abandoned again. Some people with this condition are highly sensitive and will cry easily, while others have a difficult time expressing their emotions. They may also have trouble concentrating at work or school and can become easily stressed.
Abandonment can have long-term psychological and emotional effects on a person, including low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and mood swings. This can lead to self-destructive behaviors, such as substance abuse or volatile relationships. It can also lead to a lack of trust and fear of intimacy, especially in close relationships. For these reasons, it is important for a person with this issue to receive treatment from a therapist who can help them overcome their fears and learn coping mechanisms. This can help them build healthier and more fulfilling relationships in the future. In addition, therapy can help them identify and work through any underlying issues that may be contributing to their fear of abandonment.